Tuesday, June 07, 2011
helo.today i'm gonna talk about him :) yes,my encik.i may be the type of person who doesn't talk too much about encik (well,i don't.i mention sikit2 je) this is because i have people around me.well let say they 'care' about me.which makes them a wee bit a 'take care of other's people side cloth' hahaha that's a long parable translated.well u know what i meant right ;p and sometimes these people tend to tell stories to ur mom and some even MAKE up some stories.so,ma.u know the whole truth from me,ok.not from others.they are evil!HAHAHA!
so it's been almost two years now.and i'm sure it's a looong way for us or even you, out there to get at that stage.right? :) and as for me,i was never in a serious relationship.really.you can ask my close friends and they will definitely agreed on this.i'm the type that 'lazy',you see. to meet people and get to know them.well,maybe because i went to co-ed school when i was young.my friends are a mix of both girls and boys.we're really close like we go everywhere together.in fact,we're still close until now.so being in relationship with the person in the same group is a bit awkward and if you fell for your own close friends,we might laugh it out in the crowd :P
and i went to an all girls boarding school for FIVE freaking years.i am blessed with that.praise Allah! :) because i have this sisterhood with these girls and man! we're realllyy tight! u know what i'm saying?? :P hehhe..and when you're in a girls school.u will have this confused gender issue.haha!ok that does not came out right :P let say, u tend to be the tougher and softer clan kinda thing.so i was in the JOCK group.the athlete with grunge and harsh attitude.skins all tanned and boy,i was never FAIR.i was in sports mode most of the time.in fact, i excelled in sports but not really a smart girl back then.lol.so back then who cares,right? we can LIVE without boys :P my life has been surrounded by lovely people who made my life IN CONTROL.no need to think about boys kinda stuff.well of course i have some crushes back then.i was IN and OUT of love! well more like lust/like.i dunno! i was a confused little girl!blame the hormones! oh i forgot,i dun have much of that :P
and so,i went to matriculation center.i am still surrounded by my girls (the SSPians just can't be apart from each other,i guess) :P and we had like 20 of us in the same place.that's like perkampungan SSP ke ape? :P and yep,still.no boyfriend.just crushes and stupid crushes.haha! i was stucked to one boy though.(sadly,he's married now) i was holding to my feelings for him long enough to make me break my heart when he chose to find his own girl.sad sad sad sad.ok hormones.behave!it's over now anyways. and so my life lead me to degree.i skipped a year compared to people who took diploma,right? boy i was really ambitious.i wanna have a degree.get a job.do my masters.get a car.everything must be in place.i was so determine to get my ducks in a row.
so when i was in UPM,doing my degree in Computer System.i was surrounded with girl friends.who is either married.and care less about other guys around us.i was in my second year when I was offered to go to Japan.and it was my dream!!i went there.fell in love again.with an older guy.sadly,he has eyes for other people (i was an ugly girl back then.with my braces.thick eyebrows.LOL) so i get it.i was not a pretty fly for a white guy.and in Japan,i met again with my high school crush and dang!broken hearted again.i guess, Allah is showing me the way.and telling me,i wasn't ready.at all! (i totally agreed) and i came back.graduated.get a job.meet some people.not feeling in love.tired of feeling in secure and not loved. (kesiannn) haha! and i'm telling you.my friends (closest friends) had been in and out of relationships like gazillion-th time!and i don't even have the slight of jealousy or anything.i just couldn't be bothered. so i got a job.and i got a car (weeeeee!!) and so..i'm left with Masters (second degree) and something's missing.right?
i always thought of having everything in place,then only i could think of love.a man.ewww!! ok,seriously.if u asked nuren.my rockstar.she will laugh about this.i DID mention SOOOOO MANY MANY MANY times!! that i reallyy really don't like boys like seriously.guys can either be..yuckie! like rempit type.or tooooo gatal and mushy! (rimas!) or playing hard to get.or just don't get it that i am SOOO into them.are they just plain stupid or what? or they can be sooo picky about girls.they want sexy girls (ok not all.i understand that) or they want rich girls who can cope up with their rich lifestyle (which is not.they use their dad's luxury car.credit card.and yet, still living with their parents.BOOHOO!) and so, i worked as a programmer in Hartamas. Working as a programmer.you will be surrounded by nerds.like the type of guys who does not dress up for work.and wore slippers.and they smell! (sumtimes) and i,on the other hand.could not be bothered.to dress up myself.i'll end up making fool of myself.wearing even a lipstick to work! (BAHAHAHAHHA!)
my working days in Hartamas are like doomsday! i don't have life.i was thin!haggard!tired.upset.cried almost every night.and i don't even have a boyfriend! :( i need a fresh start.something different.something which will change my ambiance.my lifestyle.i was still imagining myself working in Japan.living my life.being thin (like Japanese) work myself till i rot.but happy! (haha,how can that be happy??) but yeah,i just need something different.so i applied for my second degree in York.and i alhamdulillah I GOT IT! i was offered for 2 years for Masters in Software Engineering for October intake in 2009. and at the same time, i was offered a better job too! which i think is a secured job to me! (insyaAllah and alhamdulillah it's been two happy years of working here) boy, i was torn between York and work.i wanted to cry.but after thinking over it thoroughly..if i accept this new job,i can still do my second degree,fully paid by them.which is better! and the pay is way better than the previous job.so i guess i was fated to be here.where i am standing now..alhamdulillah..and i reported for work as an IT Officer in September 2009.with the JPM..and two months later...jeng jeng jeng..
i met him.it was actually on the day when New Moon was out.i met him through a friend :) (thanks to YOU! u know who u are) it was love at second sight.haha!well, i did notice him from some random pictures before..from our friend's blog etc.but i did not imagine seeing him in front of me is like *melt* he has this cute face.a cute scar across his forehead. (something like Harry Potter) haha!brown eyes.and cutest smile!boy,i was in the greatest fear of falling in love at that time.i guess you can never tell until it's right in front of you.i was keeping to myself all these while.but i told chunkie of course.i mean,is this for real? or like..ohh..is this how it's like? the real thing.not crush.not lust.it's the real thing.alhamdulillah..encik is like the next best thing to me.(for now..and i hope for the rest of my life..) he's totally the opposite of me.he's never the romantic one.he's quiet.he's shy.he's always in the positive mood.and the most patient person on earth! i am blessed. (i know some people might said.."awal-awal memang macam tu..semuanya indah.." i believe in that too.but as for now.i am the happiest cow.and it's been almost two years now.he's the sweetest thing.alhamdulillah.he's always there for me.to keep me grounded.to keep my head up high when no one else does.he's always the one who keeps me SANE.i'm telling you,i'm the most negative person on earth.but i have chunkie and encik to make me see things in a different angle.i am blessed.
so here i am.counting days.looking forward for amazing days,months and years ahead.may it be highs or lows. i am happy with him.i want him to be the happiest and the bestest person when i'm around :) to my darling mohamad rashid, thank you.for loving me :) ♥ i.u too! :)
(ok definitely not the old hard core erin,huh?) haha..and no,this is not an anniversary post. i was just thinking of him and i just hope that we will make it through.amin :)