Tuesday, February 22, 2005
ok..ok..this time i really..really need a brain surgery..hahah
ok..not because of my broken heart*dah berkecai2* but the
one dats healing..wats with 'him'...i mean..to me la..
how can i stucked with him again?!!*confession!!* hari2
dalam kepala otak aku ni asyik ingat kat dia je..dah angau
agaknye..ntah?!!help!!!i need to do a brain surgery!!urgent!!
huhuhu..serious..takleh lari..hari2 buat keje..haa..ada chance
sket je..sure tingat kat dier..(*^_^*)huhuhu*blush*blush*
but there's always something else..it was not only good and
sweet thoughts..but also envious!!yupe!!i always have this
stupid thoughts about someone stabbing me from the back..
enemy in the blanket *huhuh*melayukan:musuh dalam selimut*
heheh..tapi yupe!!been telling this to nuren,denise and some
of my crowds..but they said dat its impossible..it was just
me and my thoughts..i think its more of a da devil..yang
sengaja nak pecahbelahkan manusia..takpe2..ignore that..
tapikan..the hurt is still there..my dreams was shattered..
but wat is there left to do..it was not him to be blamed..
i was the one who let it happen..so why care?why bother..?
its time to forgive and forget..let bygones be bygones..
tapi kan..i think i had another HUGE crush!!*blush*blush*
Friday, February 18, 2005
these are the crowd who cherished my life~*
so we had a farewell party haritu..it was really..really sad..
*sob*sob*i cried for the first time..huhu..yeap!! at first
it was fun..but then norie *my dear japanese fren*gave me
this note..wargh!!!so0ooo...sad!! and immediately i cried!!
(>___<) and then..zutto..i cried..throughout the party..
it was sad..coz i wont be meeting all these people anymore!!
my sweetheart andrew!! *huhuhu* he's a good friend of mine!!
although at times he is so00o...naughty!!hmm..ok..there's 11
of us all together..andrew and tyler are from canada,kathy
from US,elena from spain,lin,abbie and apple are from taiwan
and all these malaysian people..hehe
andrew is my classmate..always pick on me..hehe..but too bad
in this picture..he left earlier..coz he hafta go 2 a
concert..but yeah..he's really nice..we always talk in
japanese..he's good..so we always practice..and yeah..had
a great time with him..he's blur,sarcastic,nuisance and
cool!! ok..will talk details on him later.and there's tyler..
the cute one..but he's into japanese gals..hehe..too bad!
always the 'im the cute guy..look at me..look at me' kinda
type..hehe..and there's kathy..the american gal..cute and
very confidence..talks a lot..and she talks LOUD!! and FAST!!
hehehe..had brought her hang out with my crowd (jana,abg
zamir and che)they were like..huh?!(?__?)hehehe..anyway..
there's elena..hahaha..she talks a LOT too!!she's very
debative!!always argue with tanabe sensei..and yeah she's
a good artist!!has this very good artwork!!she even submitted
her artwork to one of the manga in japan!!sugoi jang!!
and there's abbie..the fashion forpass!!(^__-)she's really
good with her dress!!she can dressed up in anything and
always look good without fail!!hahaha..and she likes to take
pictures A LOT!!well..she's photogenic..neymind huh!!and
there's apple..the cute one!!heheh..the apple look a like
gal..hehe..her chubby cheeks are always red like apple!!
hehhe..and yupe!these taiwanese gals are good with dressing
club!!hahah..and my dear lin chang!!heheh the malaysian
look a like gal..very2 nice...she likes to learn different
languages..hehehe..i even taught her malay language..(^__^)
likes to hangout with her..very down to earth and likes to
pat my head..cute!!and yeap..there's chuah..hehehe..very
talkative and her japanese is very good!!she likes to quarrel
with elena..the great spouse!!hahaha..rasa cam porak peranda
je rumahtangga diorang..hahaha..and there's saiful..hmm..very
hardworking and er..got his own way..shall i say..likes to
sing..and first time learning nihonggo in japan..sugoi ne?!
and my jana!!hehe..too many things to talk on her..so..better
keep to myself..frenemies?!er..heheh..sex and the city..yupe!!
had a great time..gonna miss them a lot!!(>__<)*sob*sob*
**the picture's here**
hey..hey..im back!!hmm..not 100% back though..but im fine..
been thru a lot of hardships for the past two weeks..february is
s0oo..NOT a lover's month..hahah..*dats because im s0oo the
single now!!**shitt!!* anyway..first week was the frustration
and then 2nd week was the 'tempias' so i was at my lowest
energy..hahah..tak bersemangat langsung..seriously!!(>_<)
and started working and all..so i was s0oo tired..mentally
and physically..so i was down with flu..*sob*sob* cian..
dier!!but at the mo..still tersumbat idung ni..*sok*sek*
sok*sek*hahah..but yeap!! february of the year!!! is so0o..
damn unlucky for me..lost my love,lost my strength,lost my
friend and lost my wallet!! hahah!!
semalam bangun awal..bersemangatla nak chanto masak lunch
konon..and all..so went to the supa..search for my wallet..
aik?!takde..takpela..pegi je dulu..dalam poket ada 700yen..
so pi supa beli groceries..grab a cabbage*my fave veggie*
n grab some chocies *a must!!**gags* elok2 semua sekali...
640yen...huhuhu..nasib baik..pastu balik umah..cari balik
wallet..are?!doko ni atta no?*TAK JUMPA!!!* cuak giler..
kelam kabut pi mandi..*tak jadi nak chanto masak*dahlah
aku dah bersemangat!!*huhuhu..siap2 pi kobang..jumpa pakcik
polisi!uhuk2..kowai!! pengalaman kedua jumpa polis cakap
ilang wallet!!hahaha..*im so0oo not good with my wallets
(including money!!hahaha)* ahaks!pastu..nasib baik!!! polis
tu kata dah ada orang jumpa and da bagi kat lost and found
kat main department in ichigao..uhuk2..alhamdulillah!!(>__<)
tak ke horror?!! so..yeah..pagi tadi..*er..my pagi is like 3am
here..hahah* called pojoe..he's leaving..yeap!!for damn 3
years!!..pi ozzy..study..(>__<)uhuk2..sabishi jang!!!*sob*
sempat borak kejap je..he was sleepy coz his flight was damn
early this morning..uhuk2..good luck chap!gonna miss you!(>_<)
so i was saying..dis month is so0o..not my month..loads of
sad things had happened..lost 'him',lost my wallet,lost my best
fren..*~period!!*sob*sob* but there's no use of mourning..
mudanishi nai!! ganbatte kudasai!!! suyoku natte ne!! (>__<)
Monday, February 14, 2005
happy valentines day to you..
my teacher used to say that..when someone u are closed to is
right in front of you..u never took the chance to appreciate
them..but when they left you..then only you will realize dat
they were right in front of you...all these time..but by that
time..it's already too late..
she was RIGHT..(+_+)
Sunday, February 13, 2005
didnt go to work today..decided to get some rest and go to
the clinic..so decided to join jana to work but then
we will go separate ways..so i got mails from takeshi
saying dat im down with flu..so he told me dat there's
a clinic open today..well..i walked all aroun aobadai..
and i couldnt even find one single clinic!! s***!
it was freezing cold and i was so0o..damn unwell..my nose
blocked..i couldnt even breath thriough my mouth..it gets
dry easily..so i was damned!!so i end up walking aroun
aobadai..founded some nice place for dine and yupe and
also cheap shops*gags* (its worth it!!not just a so-called-
well..tomorrow's valentines day..and im all alone..
uh-oh!!not dat feelings AGAIN!!(+_+)
Saturday, February 12, 2005
~*smlm tolong k.yan n abg walid hokoshita..pergh!!umah
baru sikit punya besar..siap ada 3 bilik..i siap bagitau diorang
yang i nak moved in nanti..*gags*besh..besh..heheh..went to chiba
early morning semalam..met up abang zamir at sangenjaya and then
me,jana and him went to mabashi from there..jana tak cukup tido..
but 'some' strange strength helped her to stay awake..haha..some
times i could feel these strange feelings about her..but..nevermind..
so anyways..we kemas2 rumah lama abg walid and fewh!!there are
loads of things to pack!!but it was a cool experience..tak pernah
tolong orang pindah before ni..haha..
and then rumah baru diorang kat ikebokuro pergh!!memang best aa..
boleh lepak selalu..hehe..pi bowling ke..karaoke ke...uhuk2..shh..
dont tell them..its a secret..heheh..anyway,called mama aritu..
mama:"nak mama hantar duit ke..? "me:"boleh ke?"hehehe..
tersipu2 malu..tapi of coz la nak..hahah..nak pegi ski and snow
board trip ni..teringin giler!! tapi tengah kumpul duit..hmm..
ada rezeki pegila..tengokla camne..rasa cam nak balik lambat skit..
visa pun sampai bulan 9 this year..so nanti balik mesia awal2 tak
tahu nak buat apa plak..tol tak..?so better lepak2 kat sini..kumpul
tapi kalau boleh nak balik ngan jana..skali..bulan 8 but then
abang nak kawin bulan 6..hmm..kenala balik..but then..duk pikir..
sure bosan bila balik mesia balik..can not see 'him' anymore..hmm..
u can say..although im still hurt..but i have to move on right..?so i
have met someone new..well..actually before THAT thing happened
anyway..but didnt expect it to happen so soon..but yeah..at times i
think cam murik giler..me and him? hmm...(?_?)
things are moving too fast..tak sempat nak buat apa2..but however
i prefer time to move faster so dat things wont be THAT difficult..
*~too many things to do,too little time..*isk*isk*cepatla heal....~*
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
hmmm... im so not in the mood to do anything..need
a brain and heart sugery..huhuh..getting tired of myself..
keeping myself busy and preoccupied with my thoughts..
procrastinating things..sleeping all day..so dat i wont
think while im awake..listening to the album..although
at times there were as if laughing at me with the songs..
this morning..woke up to switchfoot:dare u to move..
hurt..AGAIN..dont wanna woke up..but have to go to
work..wish dat life could be easier..simpler...no
need to know a thing..maybe be a cat..just sleep,eat
and shit..easy enuff huh?(>___<)
my mistakes was not caused by ignorance but malice
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
hmm...suddenly blurry song lingers in my mind..
"everything is changing..and noone's left dats real..
to make up your own ending..and let me know just
how u feel..coz im lost without you..i cannot live
at all..my whole world surrounds you..i stumble and
ok..so i woke up early today..have plans..meeting ikmal
to give him his omiyage..nanka ..kyo wa chotto osoku natte
jikang mo nagaikara..iro2 na mono o shita..eto..atashito
janasang wa shibuya de ikmarukung ni atte,atode shinokubo
ni itte..kome to tori o katta.atode janasang wa..ano..
hosto famiri ni atte,atashiwa hitoride kaeta.dakara..iro2
na mono o shita..sakki tomodachi to hanashite,nanka shira
nai koto o kiite,bikkurishita!!zettai wakanne!!!nanka ima
chotto kibungga warukute kanashiku naru kana..?doshite..?
well..its soo0o..unexplainable..im a bit despressed rite
now..cut my fingers..bleed like hell..and yet not feeling
the pain..blur..u should say so..well altho few hours
before..i was doing just fine..did some cleaning up..drank
cafe latte..read a book..today..the time moved so slow..
i was enjoying every part of it..feel soo0oo at ease..relaxed
and i feel fine but then..things changed..
when i heard the news...right from his mouth..suddenly i was
not me..i had been waiting for such a long...f***ing time..
been patient enough..and hell..this is what i get?!!..seriously..
i thot i was the cupid me..i thot people said only fools rushed
in..but what happened to those fools?they get wat they want!!
and me..?!!im not getting watever the hell i want!i was dumb
enuff to be dat patient huh?well...at times i just think dat
life's not fair..(+__+)
and i guess now i know..i better not be the silly me again..
*sob*sob* (>_____<)*~everything HAD changed~*
people were right..ignorance IS bliss~*