Friday, July 09, 2004

::cold rush into my head::

at times i was a bit confuse myself..when all these things started to
burden me..i thought it wont be happening any sooner..but then..

(+_+)so..i was told to delay my studies here..so i hafta do
some letters to be send to the academic board..i couldnt attend
my class any longer..i cant be staying in college..off campus..
college fee..money in,money out..friends..yada..yada..yada..
there and then it was like this sudden of rush in my head wif all
sorts of questions came rushing all at the same time..anyway,there's
this time..i was thinking..if i'll be leaving this year..i wont be
in the same class wif all of my frens in the coming sem..and then they
will be graduated earlier then me..and i was thinking.."ala..takpe..
dat'll be like when?another one year later than them?"(?_?)..and there's
this time when my dad asked me "awak sure awak nak pegi jepun?awak
sure awak tak menyesal nanti if kawan2 awak graduate lagi awal dari
awak..?" and then i'll go smiling and said"takpela..as long as i'll
graduate..and i'd gain experiences.."well..i guess i wasnt thinking
long enough at dat time..and i cant even picture it..AT ALL..but then
now i realized wats its all about and i didnt expect it to be happening
any sooner..then i realized..well actually..just now..i realized..
how close i was to leaving wats in front of me,behind...

so then..all sorts of feelings came rushing inside me..i felt confused,
sad,anger,and devastated..feel like crying and crawl..(+_+)its more
like pasrah..and then it hit me..am i prepared enough to leave my uni
friends,classes and being left out in my studies,coping up with my
friends and choose my own path and go on with it and decided look
back..?it might sound awkward..and a bit of exaggarating..but i tell
u what..this feelings happens to everyone..u'll see..

i hit the pc and played the coldplay...(+_+)and the song keep playing
in my head..on and on..and on...

*~ooh...we're sinking like stones
all that we fought for,
all those places we've gone,
all of us are done for.

We live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do,
We live in a beautiful world,

Oh, we're sinking like stones,
All that we fought for,
All those places we've gone,
All of us are done for.

We live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do,
We live in a beautiful world.

Oh, all that I know,
There's nothing here to run from,
And there, everybody here's got somebody to lean on.

erinchunk circled @ 12:39 PM

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